35 SIMPLE WAYS TO BE BEAUTIFUL
by Lori Deschene
“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” ~Sophia Loren
Even though I got Joey McIntyre of The New Kids on the Block to sign my scoliosis back brace in the sixth grade, I still felt ugly wearing it.
I didn’t realize the irony back then, but in retrospect it’s a little funny I grew crooked considering I convinced myself I was wilting in my sister’s shadow. (I also had braces and headgear, but that’s another story.)
I was a kid who wanted to be beautiful, but more desperately wanted to feel loved. My self esteem increased through the years, but I never quite shook the sneaking suspicion I’d be never be beautiful enough. Or maybe lovable enough.
It would be easy to blame it all on society and the Kate Moss era of modeling, but I think it’s more than that. I just never learned to notice and appreciate all the beautiful things about myself. The stuff that has nothing to do with my waistline, skin tone or eye lashes and everything to do with who I am.
I never learned to give myself the credit for all the good I do in the world. I was too busy cataloging my weaknesses, mistakes, and flaws to recognize it.
It seems like such a cliche to say pretty is as pretty does, but the truth is physical beauty is subjective. And no matter how closely someone matches your ideal of physical perfection, that will eventually fade. What endures are the qualities, passions, and habits we nurture.
That’s what makes us beautiful–and believe me when I say there is something beautiful in everyone. If you’ve done any of the following lately, you are absolutely beautiful:
1. Smile. As the quote goes, “I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.”
2. Be there for someone who needs you even if there’s nothing in it for you–give without expectations.
3. Make a sacrifice for someone you love.
4. Admit a mistake, even if it’s hard to say you’re wrong, and work to make amends.
5. Share your struggles, putting your ego aside, to make someone else feel less alone.
6. Create something that helps people. A song, a blog, a support group, a non-profit–anything that inspires.
7. Help a child feel good about him or herself.
8. Tell someone what you appreciate about them, even if you feel vulnerable.
9. Forgive someone without needing to hear the words, “I’m sorry.”
10. Give someone an uncomfortably long hug when they need it.
10. Create positive energy around you by thinking positive thoughts and acting with positive intentions.
11. Sit with reality without judging anyone or anything.
12. Accept someone for who they are instead of trying to change them to who you want them to be.
13. Treat people like you want to be treated.
14. Notice something simple but beautiful in the world around you.
15. Acknowledge the beauty in others, instead of feeling threatened or competing with other people.
16. Be the change you want to see in the world, as per Gandhi’s suggestion.
17. Tap into your personal power and do something that makes a difference in the world.
18. Find strength in a challenging moment. It’s not easy to do, and you deserve credit for it.
19. Talk kindly about the world around you instead of gossiping or complaining.
20. Forget yourself for a minute and do nothing but listen to someone who needs it.
21. Measure a person by their best moments, not their worst.
22. Give yourself the same courtesy–focus on the good you’ve done, not the mistakes you’ve made.
23. Take the high road when someone hurts you instead if being cruel or catty.
24. Make someone laugh. A smile can literally melt stress and pain away. How beautiful of you to do that for someone else!
25. Make someone cry–tears of joy that is. People want to feel moved, inspired, motivated. Never underestimate the power of touching someone’s heart.
26. Keep an open mind instead of sticking with a judgment or assumption.
27. Love what you’re tempted to fear.
28. Be the voice of optimism when the people around you need it badly.
29. Show humility when your accomplishments would make it easy to stand above people.
30. Handle rejection or failure with grace. It’s far more easily said than done–and it sounds so cheesy and cliche–but accepting loss gracefully makes you a true winner.
31. Show unbridled enthusiasm for something that excites you. All children are beautiful, and I think their unadulterated joy has a lot to do with it.
32. Hear what someone means, not just what they say. Anyone can nitpick. Not everyone actively works to be understanding.
33. Imagine a world where people know peace, and do one small thing to create it.
34. Honor the values that matter to you. Showing integrity is the first step to feeling good about yourself.
35. Accept and love yourself, just as you are in this moment.
And now a disclaimer: some days you may not do anything written above–in fact, you might do the exact opposite. On those days you are still beautiful.
There are times when, like Alexander, I’m having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Times when it seems like I might get swept into the tornado of chaos around me. Times when the voice in my head is unkind, and I interpret everything that happens through a negative filter. When I think the worst of people and complain about it; when I expect the worst of my day and lament it.
This admission might seem like the biggest possible acknowledgment of hypocrisy, but I have nothing to give if not my honesty. And the reality is I am imperfect. We all are. We all have moments of weakness–but they’ll only define us if they far surpass moments of kindness, compassion, love, and strength.
Being beautiful doesn’t mean adhering to some picture-perfect fantasy, or living every moment that way. It means realizing this moment is a new opportunity to be who you want to be, and making the effort to seize it.
How will you be beautiful today?
The biggest beauty secret they keep from us? Beauty begets beauty. The most beautiful people in the world appreciate the beauty of others and the beauty of the world.
Have you ever witnessed someone so completely immersed in the simple beauty of a piece of art, a bouquet of flowers or a landscape? There is a sensual aura that surrounds them and they seem to glow from within the depths of their heart. Perhaps the uninhibited rapture of a child completely intrigued with a puppy will jog your memory: eyes lit from the inside, pure pleasure shining out from their smile and their face glowing with joy.
Look for beauty.
Look for beauty in other people and your environment. Look for what is beautiful in the ordinary. Notice the sunlight filtering through your windows, the green green of your houseplants, the color of someone’s hair, the sky changing as the days grow longer, even look for it in the mundane; at your desk, perhaps your pen is well designed or your desk cop is clear and gleaming.
For me, the best way to be beautiful is giving a smile because its therapeutic side.
Everyone loves the quote “laughter is the best medicine,” and as a nurse, I have experienced the benefits of smiling and laughter with my patients. In fact, smiling can boost your mood and even your immune system. Keep reading for more fascinating facts about our smiles.
- Forcing yourself to smile can boost your mood: Psychologists have found that even if you’re in bad mood, you can instantly lift your spirits by forcing yourself to smile.
- It boosts your immune system: Smiling really can improve your physical health, too. Your body is more relaxed when you smile, which contributes to good health and a stronger immune system.
- Smiles are contagious: It’s not just a saying: smiling really is contagious, scientists say. In a study conducted in Sweden, people had difficulty frowning when they looked at other subjects who were smiling, and their muscles twitched into smiles all on their own.
- Smiles Relieve Stress: Your body immediately releases endorphins when you smile, even when you force it. This sudden change in mood will help you feel better and release stress.
- It’s easier to smile than to frown: Scientists have discovered that your body has to work harder and use more muscles to frown than it does to smile.
- It’s a universal sign of happiness: While hand shakes, hugs, and bows all have varying meanings across cultures, smiling is known around the world and in all cultures as a sign of happiness and acceptance.
- We still smile at work: While we smile less at work than we do at home, 30% of subjects in a research study smiled five to 20 times a day, and 28% smiled over 20 times per day at the office.
- Smiles use from 5 to 53 facial muscles: Just smiling can require your body to use up to 53 muscles, but some smiles only use 5 muscle movements.
- Babies are born with the ability to smile: Babies learn a lot of behaviors and sounds from watching the people around them, but scientists believe that all babies are born with the ability, since even blind babies smile.
- Smiling helps you get promoted: Smiles make a person seem more attractive, sociable and confident, and people who smile more are more likely to get a promotion.
- Smiles are the most easily recognizable facial expression: People can recognize smiles from up to 300 feet away, making it the most easily recognizable facial expression.
- Women smile more than men: Generally, women smile more than men, but when they participate in similar work or social roles, they smile the same amount. This finding leads scientists to believe that gender roles are quite flexible. Boy babies, though, do smile less than girl babies, who also make more eye contact.
- Smiles are more attractive than makeup: A research study conducted by Orbit Complete discovered that 69% of people find women more attractive when they smile than when they are wearing makeup.
- There are 19 different types of smiles: UC-San Francisco researcher identified 19 types of smiles and put them into two categories: polite “social” smiles which engage fewer muscles, and sincere “felt” smiles that use more muscles on both sides of the face.
- Babies start smiling as newborns: Most doctors believe that real smiles occur when babies are awake at the age of four-to-six weeks, but babies start smiling in their sleep as soon as they’re born.
If you want to be ugly and haggard, just smile :-)
